Nevermore

I've never met your love, Lenor

But I have my own lost soul I search for

And when I ask the raven for more

He looks at me and says the same as before

Nothing less and nothing more

Than just, "Nevermore."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

I admit, I only just recently read Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven and I found that I really and truly loved it. There is that great gothic, creepy, old world feel to his stories and poetry and The Raven I think is the epitome of his creepy, gothic work.

 

As I was looking at my upcoming writing prompts, I saw "nevermore" weeks in advance and I was so excited. But the closer the day got, the less I was inspired to write something to do with "nevermore" and more inspired to draw (yet again, the face of a girl). I think I tend to have a very distinct style (stained glass hair, big, bushy eye-lashed eyes) and I tried to break away from that at least for today. I've learned that profiles are hard and I desperately need to learn how to draw hair not purple, pink, or blue. However, I still love my doodle girl wearing her raven crown. Perhaps she grew tired of hearing the word "Nevermore" repeated over and over again and this was her revenge against the raven.

 

The Raven is a very interesting story about loss and coping with the death of a loved one. In the poem (spoiler alert), our narrator descends into madness after his lover, Lenor, dies. Having experienced a great loss, I can see just how easy it is to lose yourself to madness... because sometimes that seems easier to cope with than reality.

 

I feel like you have a choice to make when faced with death and grief--you can go down one of two roads. You can either choose to protect yourself: you place your memories, your heartache, and that painful loss in a box and you place in on your shelf and force yourself to forget. You're able to continue on, painlessly, pretending that nothing is wrong, and you are able to heal more fully. Or, you continue to feel, you continue to mourn, and you live in constant pain. You choose to remember and, in a way, through your suffering, your loved one is able to continue on existing in your life and mind.

 

At first, I thought you had to make this decision and you could never go back, you could never change, and the two choices could not connect with one another. But I was wrong.

 

Some days--some moments--you are able to bottle up your thoughts and feelings; there are a few moments throughout the day where I am actually able to forget just how messed up my life is, forget about the gaping hole in my life and my heart, forget that I am grieving. But then, I recall... and it makes the pain all the more unbearable. And you decide, it's better to live in constant numbing pain than to force yourself to pretend that nothing ever happened.

 

I choose to grieve because grief is very much real and is the result of a deep love.

 

And, in a way, we are all walking down the same road--we all experience loss, pain, and grief at some point in our lives--and together, we can help carry each other's burdens, wipe away tears, and make the journey down this road a bit brighter.

 

And remember: we are not alone in our grief... We are surrounded by loss, life, and above all, love... Forevermore.

 

a.r.w.