Friday, April 22, 2016



Happy Earth Day, one and all!

This planet is a beautiful thing, isn't it? Everything is connected and fits together perfectly. There are clear patterns and cycles and we all have a place in them. If you ever feel insignificant or lost or alone. just remember that the Earth has a place for you and you are exactly where you need to be.

Just like Mother Earth takes care of us, it should be our duty to take care of her, too. 

Happy Earth Day to you all, and to my Earth Mother, Gramma Aw.

Super awkward twelve year old Amanda, her clarinet, and her crazy Gramma Aw. 


Thursday, April 21, 2016



Day Four of Mother Earth Week makes an attempt at a somewhat realistic doodle of my Earth Mother. I will be the first to admit that I am not particularly good at this--I prefer drawing my big eyed, bushy eye lashed, stained glass haired girls. But, just like my previous attempt in drawing somewhat realistically in the post Pulling, I am pretty proud of myself. I don't know why but I feel like this Earth Mother kind of looks like Scarlett Johansson... Not too sure how that happened!

Today's post is called "Face"... Not only for the obvious reason--it's a doodle of a girl's face (my specialty... Haha!!)--but for the fact that in 2016 we need to face the facts, accept that the increased rate of climate change is our own doing, and start doing something about it. Stop debating.  Face it and stop it. Stop talking and start doing. 

My Gramma Aw and so many before her made it her mission to not only respect Mother Earth but also teach her grandchildren to do the same. Let's take a page out of her book and continue on in the works that so many have tried to do--love, respect, protect, and conserve the planet--for as long as we have this Giant Blueberry to call home.

Baby Amanda and Afro Gramma compliments of 1990


PS: Still missing those watercolors...

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

For Sale


Day three of Earth Mother Week brings us a doodle of my purple haired, topless, Nike wearing Mother Earth. This doodle is based on the poem I posted yesterday

Our Earth Mother is sad. She sees the damage we are doing and hears the denial from so many unwilling to change their ways for the good of their children and their children's children. She's begun to decide to take matters into her own hands--whether that's selling her Nike's or fighting back with the power of Nature.

Personally, I wouldn't blame her if she starts to fight dirty... I would too after centuries of abuse. 

Strategically cropped to hide little naked Amanda the day Gramma Aw showed me how to dunk my head under the water without plugging my nose. Circa, 1993?


PS: I miss my watercolors... so much. 69 days until I can get my grubby little paws on them again.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Earth Mother Now

where is Earth Mother now?
the embrace that once held me when I cried
the one who knew just what to do
and fixed all my problems with a sigh

she once held my hand
and guided me down the road
a touch of wisdom, a bit of sass
as she helped me with my load

this world can be a heavy burden
one far too large to bear
but i always knew that there'd be one 
always standing there

where is my Earth Mother now?
it's been years since she's been seen
perhaps she's sold her Nike's 
to get just a bit more green


Day two of Mother Earth Week brings us another poem, this time not my grandmother's words but my own. A bit darker. A bit sadder. A bit more lost. But that is Life, isn't it? 

This poem is, I suppose, a sequel to the one my grandmother wrote. Many of my Gramma Aw's poems have a quirky loneliness to them. But that doesn't make me feel surprised or sad because sometimes I feel that way too. Quirky and lonely. I think dreamers, artists, poets, and wanderers are all quirky and lonely so we use our words and imagination to help bring others into our loneliness. We live in another world and we want to share it, even if some might find it slightly skewed.


Monday, April 18, 2016

Earth Mother

Where is Earth Mother -
Who held lovers, sons,
Daughters, and worlds - 
Held them all close to her
Did you last see her
In calico frock -
Garlands laced through tresses
With a smile on her lips
And a star in her eyes - 
Is that where you last saw
Earth Mother?

Did you last see her
Cradle the Earth
Kiss the bruises of man
And hug them tight - 
Only to weep for us all;
Is that where you last saw
Earth Mother?

I can't say for sure -
My memory's dim
But the last time I looked
I'm sure -
I saw a slight figure
Rounding a trail
With "the bird" of the world
And a whistle from her lips
She just walked by -

Wearing her $40 Nike's!



It is officially Earth Week!

I know it's been a loooooong time since I've posted much on this blog. It was a good way to cope with the less than ideal situation that was Russia. But honestly, life in America was nice and healing (Christmas in Disney World doesn't hurt too much) and life here in China hasn't been too bad either.

But I couldn't resist reviving An Accord of Dreamers--I'm a hippie in my heart and Earth Day is an important day... though everyday should technically be Earth Day, don't you think? It's especially hard living in China where you see first hand the damage that people can do to our Giant Blueberry. Littering is more common than breathing over here and it kills me. My Gramma Aw always instilled in me, "Don't litter!" so whenever I see someone--young or old--toss trash on the ground or I see the harsh black smoke billowing into the air as people burn coal, a little bit of me dies inside.

Anyway, I won't go into a tirade about how climate change is our biggest enemy in today's day and age or how you should all vote for Bernie Sanders because he's the only candidate that will actually do something to save our Giant Blueberry **hint**

Instead, I want to celebrate Earth Week by bringing this blog back to life at least for a little bit. Each day, I will share Earth Mother--my topless, lavender hair, Nike wearing Earth Mother originally created by my Gramma Aw.

This poem is called Earth Mother and it was written 30 or 40 years ago... I wish there was a date on it. I loved it so much when I first read it, I designed the Earth Mother I saw in my mind to go along with the poem--it is a Wee Woomer Women Creation!

These next few blog posts will be in honor of my Gramma Aw. While she is still Here on our Giant Blueberry, I know her mind and spirit are already There, no matter what the dementia and the doctors might say to convince me otherwise.
This picture is a few years old... Look! I'm still a blondie.

She was my tutor and my mentor growing up. She taught me to respect the Earth and stand silently in the forest. She taught me to listen. She taught me to just be. She is still my inspiration. She is my Earth Mother.


Friday, April 8, 2016


the day you went away

nothing could prepare me
for the day you went away.
i saw the writing on the wall
yet still begged you to stay.

"please don't leave me all alone.
don't make me journey on
through this life's endless hopes and fears
after you've already gone."

a battle was bravely fought
and won... and lost.
and in our deep heartbreak
into a new world we were forced to cross.

i stood all alone
in a sea of doubt.
if there was no hope to be had
what was this life all about?

i wandered through my days
suddenly lost and unfeeling,
not an end at all in sight.
no chance of ever healing.

i had lost my dear sweet brother--
my long lost forgotten half.
now the silenced shared laughter
in the old photograph.

so far away.
so lost and alone.
no one could save me.
my heart turned to stone.

i still look back
on the day you went away.
i call out, "why, god? why?"
but won't hear what he has to say.

i find my comfort
in the stars above.
though distant, their light still shines
just like our shared love.

i don't need solutions
or answers to why.
all i need to do
is look up to the sky.

"i am not gone,"
a voice whispers to me.
"i am everywhere now.
oh, why can't you see?

"even as the sun shines,
the stars are still there.
let their light remind you
how much i still care.

"so continue through life--
see what lies in store.
i'll be There waiting for you
when you walk through the door."

nothing could prepare me
for the day you went away.
but as i sit and close my eyes,
loud and clear, i hear you say,

"don't worry about me!
i promise i'm fine.
we'll be together again, i swear.
but while you wait in the meantime

"take the love i gave to you;
here's the gift that i bestow:
share my love with those around you.
stand back and watch it grow!

"this is all i have to give--
this is my gift to you.
i hope it makes you smile
and will help others, too."

a piece of my heart
followed you that day.
but it seems a piece of yours, too,
decided that it would stay.

this life isn't easy.
my world is a mess.
but you were Here for a short while...
so it was blessed, nonetheless.


Thursday, December 3, 2015


memories of you
come cascading down my cheeks
whispering your words 


First rehearsal for All Through the Night and I have a lot of time on my hands and an empty notebook... Here's a haiku (shock shock) that found its way into the crazy collage of doodles from tonight.