Sugar

 

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I'm in a huge Disney kick lately but I'm still trying to keep up with my Halloween posts... So, here are my sugar skull Disney princesses. I feel like you either love these princesses--their optimism, sweet nature, and kindness--or you hate them and see them as weak, pathetic, and a product of the time they were created. They are just dumb chicks with pretty faces... I wanted to take those pretty face and paint them even more.

 

I love the classic princesses. Of course, they are not the typical strong heroine that we are so used to in our stories today but there is more to be admired in someone than just their strength--kindness goes a long way and in the end people will remember how you treat them, not how impressive you think you are.

 

Only one more day until Halloween!!!!!!

 

a.r.w.

Hiding

 

There is a cat hiding out on the moon, I know. I've seen him smiling down on me.

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Now this picture did not come out as nice as I wanted it to be... but I still love my black cat hiding out on the moon.

 

My whole life whenever I see a crescent moon, I always point and say, "The Cheshire Cat smile!" Crescent moons are my absolute favorite because of that very reason.

 

In my mind I have a story of how a witch was flying by the moon on her broomstick when her pet cat fell off and landed safely on the moon. At first he was annoyed by the inconvenience but lately, he smiles. Up on the moon there is no sadness, no worries, no one to think that you're bad luck, and no pesky dogs always barking at you.

 

Only 3 more days until Halloween!!

 

a.r.w.

Fuzzies

"Aw, crap."

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It's snowing already.

I know, I know. I'm in Siberia and I should have expected this. I was warned, "Winter is coming," but I didn't expect it to arrive so quickly!

We've had a few flurries (or "fuzzies" as my coworkers like to call them) but nothing impressive or substantial... until today. There is a mantle of white out there and it isn't even Halloween yet! Though, I suppose Christmas is only two months away...

Poor Mr. Jack 'o Lantern... nobody gives his holiday a chance (though he gets a bit more attention than Mr. Turkey).

Only 6 days until Halloween!

a.r.w.

Pulling

My hair is being pulled by the stars again.

~Anaïs Nin

 

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I absolutely love Anais Nin. I think that she has some of the absolute greatest and most beautiful thoughts, ideas, and quotes of all time. She talks of writing, love, life, and the fear of the mundane. If you haven't read anything of hers or heard of her, you need to just go to Goodreads and read her quotes--they will inspire you!

 

One of my hopes with this blog was to recapture that whimsical nature I once had. I've always been a dreamer with my head in the clouds, reaching for the stars, ready to follow my nose. Lately, I've been a bit more timid, afraid of very real world things, and that fanciful world that I always lived in is painted black and frightens me. Slowly but surely, I feel myself painting my world back to the colorful place I've always known it to be.

 

The minute I read this quote, I saw this painting in my head. I wasn't sure if I had the talent to do this painting... The stars and sky I hate but I am actually really proud of the girl's face (yes, shock shock! It's a face of a girl again). I might try to redo the background someday when I get better at this. But overall, I'm really proud of myself and how this painting turned out... I hope it did Anais proud.

 

I'm trying to find the nerve in me to follow where the stars want to take me and with each step I feel like I'm returning to a piece of my old self again. Only time will tell...

 

a.r.w.

Hitchhike

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Ah! There you are! And just in time... There's a little matter I forgot to mention: Beware of hitchhiking ghosts!

 

These are the three ghosts from my favorite ride at Disney World--the Haunted Mansion. I've recently fallen even more in love with this trio after discovering that there is a pin set that features them (yes, I am one of those poor unfortunate souls [see what I did there?] that is absolutely obsessed with Disney pin trading). I managed to find two out of the three during my honeymoon in August but I am still missing the short hairy guy! So if you find yourself at Disney any time soon and happen upon him, remember me?

 

 

These three ghosts appear at the end of the ride and their names are Phineas (the traveler), Ezra (the skeleton), and Gus (the prisoner)... Phineas is my favorite. They're scary and spooky but at the same time so gosh darn lovable!

 

I decided to take my love of Disney and my love for Halloween and create a Haunted Mansion doodle today. I hope it gets you in the Halloween spirit, makes your spine tingle and skin crawl, and makes you think back to the first time you rode through the Haunted Mansion, terrified only to have it become your absolute favorite.

 

Only 20 days until Halloween!

 

a.r.w.

 

PS: Now a ghost will follow you home... Hahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!



Yellow Bird

 

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There is this joke in my family that goes back eight years now to my Uncle Tony's 50th and my cousin Ashley's 16th birthday cruise in the Caribbean--a joke about a yellow bird. When someone gets easily distracted by something, you shout, "Hey look! A yellow bird!" This joke started with one of the comedians on the ship and (like most things in my family), it just took on a life of it's own over the years.

 

There are two kinds of birds in Novosibirsk that I have seen in the last month and a half--crows and pigeons (such is city life)... That is, until today. Today I've been seeing little yellow finches everywhere!

 

I woke up this morning to see one sitting on my window ledge. Later, one almost flew in through my open window. Walking to the post office I saw five more! And as I sat down to start writing this post, another one landed on my window ledge and just stared in at me. I actually like to think that it's just one finch and that he's followed me around like a little familiar.

 

And of course, I always think back to that message Jed gave to us through my mom's friend, Nadine: Look for me in feathers. Of course the first thing that popped into my mind was that Jed was following me, helping me pick up mom's package. Whether it's a "sign" from Jed or not--who knows? But I do know that I love seeing and being distracted by these colorful little birdies.

 

Hey look! A yellow bird!

 

a.r.w.

Cupcake

 

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Yes, this is a cupcake. Yes, it's a heart.

 

I wish this idea had been my own but I can proudly say that I did not come up with this idea--one of my students did!

 

For two weeks, I traveled over the river and beyond the city center to a small school called Chudo Chado. At first, I had no desire to travel so far on my Saturdays but the minute I met the students who were desperate to learn from a native speaker, I fell in love with them and their zeal. My second week there, we read a ghost story and for an activity, I asked them to create their own scary story. The result was impressive.

 

Almost all of them clapped their hands in glee before setting to work. I got stories about a megalodon (these are ten years old studying English as their second language), animatronics that kill kids at a pizza place, and this one--all about cupcakes.

 

Kate, the quiet girl who sits in the corner was the most excited about this writing assignment and she did not disappoint. Her story was of a young girl who had a birthday party where none of her friends came to celebrate. In response, the girl went to their houses, cut out their hearts, and put them in the cupcakes.

 

Brutal, sadistic, and so creative! After being in China for two years where the kids barely understood the idea of creativity and now being surrounded by kids who are not motivated at all and bored with everything they do, it was a breath of fresh air to see these kids create and think up these stories all by themselves... and have fun doing it! I was slightly disturbed but even more impressed by Kate and her story... and she inspired me to paint this macabre image.  

 

I've learned that I don't like drawing anything real or lifelike... Human hearts are hard! I tried a few times and then gave up on being realistic and I decided to create my interpretation of what a human heart looks like.

 

Enjoy the blood splatter...

 

Only 22 days until Halloween!

 

a.r.w.

Nothing

 

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What do you fear most in life?

 

Some might say heights or flying, spiders or the darkness. Me? I fear Nothing.

 

Do you remember the movie The Neverending Story? The Nothing was the terrifying monster gobbling up Fantasia, the world of fantasy and dreams. I think that was a mighty powerful message for a kids movie because to this day I am still affected by it and I still fear Nothing.

 

To me, the Nothing is just that--a void of happiness, dreams, plans, actions, even life itself. It's the desire to just survive through life instead of thrive. Nothing is very much real to me and I have to try and fight it every day. I fight it by reading, by laughing, by dreaming, and creating something new here every day.

 

These three figures are the Nothing that haunt my mind. They feed on the very thought of them (so stop thinking about Nothing!) and once they take control of you, it's hard to fight them off... but it's possible... it's always possible to fill Nothing with a very great Something.

 

That's what I'm trying to do with this blog... Fill the Nothing and fight it too.

 

Plus I just wanted to paint something super spooky today! I hope you dream of Nothing tonight...

 

25 days until Halloween!

 

a.r.w.

Pumpkins

we are beautiful

all different shapes and sizes

pumpkins big and small

 

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Pumpkins are a lot like people. Some are short and fat. Others are tall and thin. And I love each and every one of them.

 

I finally bought some watercolor paper for the first time yesterday and I've started playing with it. I'm not really familiar with how it absorbs water and paint yet so forgive the slightly messy doodles.

 

I've been wanting to paint some pumpkins for awhile now and I decided to play with orange, yellow, and red. I kind of like the result! Just like my trees from yesterday, they all turned out different. I love it when I can't recreate a doodle--it makes them so special and unique.

 

I've been eying up a pumpkin on my way to work everyday. There is a gang of old ladies that sell produce and they brought out a giant pumpkin.... and I WANT IT.

 

That is one of the things I don't like about living abroad--missing out on all of the autumnal shenanigans. Apple picking, haunted houses, hay rides, corn mazes, apple cider, carving Jack-o-lanterns, pumpkin spice everything, the Swartz Halloween party, and going to the pumpkin patch. This time of year is my absolute favorite but it's also painful when I'm so far from all the fun!

 

I'm hoping to get a pumpkin soon and joining in on the Halloween festivities even from Siberia... 27 days until Halloween!

 

a.r.w.

Beautiful

 

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I like to think of the Earth as a phoenix at this time of year. Everything bursts into a colorful, beautiful blaze just before it dies... much like the phoenix bursts into flames before being reborn from the ashes.

 

Autumn shows me that death is not quite as scary as we sometimes think it is. It shows me that there can be such a thing as a beautiful death. Death is not a glamorous thing. It is messy, scary, and traumatizing to witness. At the very surface of it all, beautiful seems like the very last thing it would be.

 

I think what makes death beautiful is when someone's life is beautiful. My brother's death was not a beautiful, peaceful, "slip away" sort of death. As my mom says, "He went out swinging." I would not consider Jed's death to be beautiful... but goodness gracious his life was a  masterpiece. He lived life with such a fire and his desire to live life to the fullest, all the way to the very end, is both admirable and beautiful.

 

What Jed's death showed me was that death has the potential to be beautiful but what's even more beautiful is the life you lived and how you live on even after death in the hearts and minds of those that you managed to touch while on this planet. 

 

I'm always dazzled by this time of year--a beautiful transition from life to death. And while I, too, am in a transitional phase in my life, this season is taking on a whole new meaning for me. It's a beautiful time of year and it shows me that beauty can be found in the most unlikely of places--such as loss, tragedy, and even death.

I was playing with my watercolors and decided to try something from kindergarten. These are trees made from blowing air through a straw. I love how they turned out! Each one is unique! Give it a try--it's super easy and fun.

Only 28 days until Halloween!

a.r.w.

Norman

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This is Norman the not so distant cousin of Charlie (my someday but probably never tattoo of a whale that will go on my arm/guns... but, again, I'll probably only ever talk about him).

 

I'm still playing with my watercolors and doodling with minimalist pictures and I've found that A). whales are super easy and B). I absolutely adore drawing them. This will probably end up being a series of little colorful whales.

 

I might have drawn this because I have had the song "Whale of a Tale" from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea stuck in my head.... What a beautiful problem to have...

 

I know since it's October 1st (Huzzah!!), I should have drawn something spooky and scary but LOOK AT THIS FAC?!?! How could I say no to him?

 

a.r.w.

Memory

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Our sense of smell is a very fickle, funny thing. They say it is the sense related the closest to memory and I've always believed that. My perfume "Lovely" by Sarah Jessica Parker always takes me back to the fall of 2007 where I was in a production of Night of the Living Dead. Rose makes me think of my Memoo (my mom's mom). And just over the summer, I found one of my brother's stuffed Stitch toys that was in a tote under his bed--it smelled just like his room did before he got sick; immediately, I was taken back to a simpler time and a happy time (cue the infamous Woomer Water Works).

 

Today, I was suddenly reminded just how powerful the sense of smell is once again.

 

As I was washing my teacup at work, I got a whiff of the dish soap--lemon scented.

 

I was instantly transported back to my gramma's (dad's mom) house. Even though she loved lavender and whenever I think of my gramma, I think of the flower, the smell of lemon dish soap threw me back fifteen years and I loved it.

 

I stood at the sink just smiling like a weirdo as I thought back to the weekends I'd spend with my Gramma Aw at her house. She has always been an inspiration to me in the creative world with my art and writing so it was nice to have a little visit even if it was just in my memories as I was surrounded by my coworkers and a bunch of little kids chattering away in Russian.

 

Over the years, I've learned that a visit is so much more than seeing someone's face or hearing their voice.  A visit can be a dream, a smell, a sudden memory that brings a tear to your eye or a smile to your face. And how much more magical is that?

 

a.r.w.

 

PS: I read online that one of my favorite authors growing up, Lemony Snicket (the creator of A Series of Unfortunate Events), just donated $1 Million to Planned Parenthood... Seems fitting I drew a lemon today! 

Strength

 

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I've been playing the with watercolors I bought myself a bit and this was my favorite doodle I came up with today.

 

I absolutely adore owls. There is just something about them. I think that they are adorable but at the same time there is something mysterious and spooky about hearing them in the middle of the forest in the darkness of the night.

 

This is a quote that was originally in French: Quand le hibou chante, La nuit est silence. And to me, I think that is so true. There is something powerful in the owl. It is one of the guardians of the forest. They silently watch the trees and the stars, usually silent. But when they call out in a screech, the entire forest freezes in silence, waiting to see what the owl will do.

 

So unsuspecting yet so strong.

 

Because true strength doesn't need to be announced with thrashing arms and trumpets, I find myself wishing I had that silent strength hidden inside the owl.

 

a.r.w.

Come In

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I grew up reading the poems of Shel Silverstein. I have vivid memories of sitting in my school's library in the third grade, reading his books of poetry. This poem called, "Invitation" is in the book Where the Sidewalk Ends and it is my favorite of all of Shel Silverstein's poems (yes, even "The Unicorn").

 

I remember the first time I read this poem, I wanted it hanging in my house someday. It has a whimsical side to it but also a very candid side. Dreamers are welcome, magic bean buyers are welcome... but pray-ers and liars are also welcome. Even as a child, I loved that idea. Everyone is welcome to come in, share, and spend time together... Just as long as they bring a story to share.

 

The more I think about it, the more I think that Shel Silverstein is my favorite poet. I do love Walt Whitman and Sylvia Plath, and W.B. Yeats but there is something special about Shel Silverstein. It could be that he was such a big part of my childhood--so many teachers and librarians shared his poems and drawings with me. It could also be that slightly tilted, whimsical, silly style he has; poetry doesn't have to be refined or wordy to touch you in a special way. I hope that someday my scribbles and doodles can touch other people's hearts and minds just as much as Shel's work touched mine.

 

I hope to practice my watercolors more in the future. I love drawing girl's faces but I want to try little doodles on the more minimalist side like this pineapple. If you have any requests, let me know! I think a pumpkin, an acorn, and a cat are up next on my list of little watercolor doodles. In my head, I'm calling it Scrap Paper Art because I am incapable of finding blank pieces of paper so I'm practicing on the small pieces of paper I can find (mostly with my student's classwork on the back).

 

This little doodle is also a welcome to you. Welcome to this blog. If you are a reader, come in. If you are an artist, come in. If you are a friend, family, or stranger, come in. All are welcome to join the Accord of Dreamers.

 

a.r.w.