Naked

I don't know where I am. It's dark and cold here. My hands are tied and I am trapped. I feel naked... Exposed. I feel so alone--a fear as though no one will ever be able to reach into this darkness and save me. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A snippet from my NaNoWriMo story (yes... that is still happening). As I wrote this scene of Becks waking up after being kidnapped by the land pirates I realized how similar this could be when we feel hopeless, helpless, grief stricken, or depressed. But don't worry... She'll make it out of there... Just like the rest of us. 

a.r.w.

Cleanse

water cleanses souls

brings life and renews the sick

no shame in your tears

*~*~*~*~*~*

Still in a bit of a rough patch but much better than yesterday... That has to do with the ridiculous selfless love of my husband, wise words from my mama, and the support that you guys showed. It means a lot... Being away from almost everyone you love during the hardest part of your life is no walk in the park, that's for sure!

 

I almost didn't post anything today for lack of time and inspiration but Adam almost lost it and demanded that I go to my computer and create something (thanks, babe!). So here is a haiku to try and tell myself that it's okay to cry and to try and not be ashamed of my emotions--they are the result of a deep love. I hope you never feel shame in your tears either.

 

I also made this epically goofy spider crown to make with my kindergarteners tomorrow. I cannot friggin' wait. So that's TWO creations for you today!

 

 

Hang in there, folks. Halloween is just 11 days away...

a.r.w.

Hold Me

strings hold me togeth’r

to keep me from falling ‘part

they’re made of barbed wire

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

I had a rough time today missing Jed. I'm not sure what sparked it... and honestly, I don't think I ever do. It's hard to always smile and laugh for everyone around you when all you want to do is collapse. I overestimated myself, I think. This is harder than I could have ever imagined.

 

Hopefully tomorrow will be easier.

 

a.r.w.

Nothing

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

What do you fear most in life?

 

Some might say heights or flying, spiders or the darkness. Me? I fear Nothing.

 

Do you remember the movie The Neverending Story? The Nothing was the terrifying monster gobbling up Fantasia, the world of fantasy and dreams. I think that was a mighty powerful message for a kids movie because to this day I am still affected by it and I still fear Nothing.

 

To me, the Nothing is just that--a void of happiness, dreams, plans, actions, even life itself. It's the desire to just survive through life instead of thrive. Nothing is very much real to me and I have to try and fight it every day. I fight it by reading, by laughing, by dreaming, and creating something new here every day.

 

These three figures are the Nothing that haunt my mind. They feed on the very thought of them (so stop thinking about Nothing!) and once they take control of you, it's hard to fight them off... but it's possible... it's always possible to fill Nothing with a very great Something.

 

That's what I'm trying to do with this blog... Fill the Nothing and fight it too.

 

Plus I just wanted to paint something super spooky today! I hope you dream of Nothing tonight...

 

25 days until Halloween!

 

a.r.w.