Your Book

“Can I ask you why?” I finally ventured to ask him the question I had always wanted to ask him but I suppose I just never found the time to do so between feeding his killer dogs, avoiding murder multiple times, and reuniting with loved ones who had died before me.

“Why what?”

“Why is it that reading my book is such a dangerous thing for me to do?”

It really didn't make any sense to me. It was a book filled with my story—my life. Half of it I had already experienced and lived myself, it held no surprises, no new knowledge for me so there was no danger in that aspect of the story. It was the future—what was yet to come—that I knew Lord Death referred to. Events and moments that I did not yet know were about to happen; I did not know how my story would end, where it would lead and I suppose the danger that Lord Death spoke of lied within that. But Maurielle also spoke of fate and destiny as something that you cannot change and cannot run away from. Even if I read my book, didn't like what I saw and tried to do things a bit differently, there would be no escape, because you cannot run from your destiny… or at least that is what Lord Death whispered to me my first day here in the Betwixt. The thought still made me uneasy even though I had no idea what it was I wanted to run from.

He sighed and closed his eyes as if I exhausted him—not just my questions but my presence here in the Betwixt. Making sure that I was not getting into any trouble and that I was safe and sound was enough of a full time job for him on top of being the ruler of the Betwixt.

“No human has ever been permitted to read their life story until after it has completely ended and they have arrived safely here in the Betwixt. Then and only then are they permitted to open the book and read it. Most humans have no idea that a book about their entire lives even exist so that should be a treat enough for you to even know that one day you will be able to sit down and look at your entire life and see what you were able to accomplish.”

It was as if he expected me to be content with that. As if that would be enough to make me be the perfect little ward and follow all the rules despite the fact that this was still eating away at me—gnawing at my very soul.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

I had a pretty good day of writing today with almost 6,000 words written. Compared to other years that is nothing to be too proud of but the way this year has been going (and will continue to go I realize as I look at my ridiculous work schedule for next week...) it has been my strongest day yet!

 

I always liked the idea of all of your accomplishments, failures, dreams, and relationships being recorded down in a book for you to flip through and read after you've died. You can see what an incredible life you had and the number of lives you managed to touch...

 

But Becks better watch out! We all know what curiosity did to that poor cat...

 

a.r.w.